The brown eye won't let me do that either.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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