i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
