they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
