i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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