no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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