I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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