It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Randomize
