it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
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