You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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