I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
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There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
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I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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