Joe is yelling at the trees again.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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