I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
