If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Houston, we have a blender
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
