So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
