you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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