69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
