you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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