the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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