why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I believe in your delicious
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Randomize
