I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
