I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Send help, water and tortillas.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
