you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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