I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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