I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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