I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
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I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
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You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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