haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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