I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
