his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
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Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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