haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
50% drunk capacity currently
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
