I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I would ride that face into the sunset
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
