What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize