So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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