"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
