I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
