Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
