Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
