Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Randomize
