I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
