So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
