you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
