Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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