Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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