bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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