so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
