I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Randomize
