whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
