i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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