Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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