he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
You are a genius and a whore.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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