Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
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and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
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There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
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