So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
