He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
