apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
