Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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