It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
