You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
