There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
