seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
