STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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