yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
If that was your dad, he is hot
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
