Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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